Purple Paper Planes
by OragamiBeauty
Summary: Konan: Grab some Gorgeous, Intelligent, Sassy, and Everything You Wish You Could Be, then put it all in a bowl. Put in freezer for a couple hundred years. Add a pinch of Vampirism, plus a little Konohagakure High School. Serve cold with a side of Sarcasm.


Disclaimer: Pain's eyes are red, Konan's hair is blue, I dont own _Naruto_, so please dont sue!

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**_Purple Paper Planes_**

_**August 12, 2006**_

_Hello, pathetic being.  
__If you're reading this, it means I have (somehow) been destroyed and am buried under the lovely plum blossom tree in the local cemetary, flawless and perfect even in death, never to wake from my peaceful sleep.__Very unlikely.__But, if I'm not dead, YOU_ _will be when I find out that not only did you break into my room and snoop around in my lingerie drawer, you also bothered MY journal.__So, either way, I would put this book down, if I were you._

_**September 1, 2006**_

_I never really got to introduce myself, did I? My name is Akatsuki Konan. My surname is assumed, as I am an orphan. Pein and I chose it for ourselves and those that choose to join our little family of monsters. Here is me:_

Name: Akatsuki Konan  
Gender: Female  
Birthplace: Amegakure  
Deathplace: Kirigakure  
DOB: 02/20/1901  
DOD: 04/17/1919  
Age: 18  
Height: 169.4 cm (1.694 m, 5.558 ft, 66.693 in)  
Weight: 45.3 kg (99.869 lb)  
Blood type: O  
Hair: Blue  
Eyes: Purple  
* DOB = Date of Birth  
* DOD = Date of Death

_You're probably wondering what's with the DOD, plus the whole born in 1901 thing. Well, journal...__I'm a vampire.__I was turned by another vampire- Pain.__He doesnt know his actual name, nor does he know how he became what he is. But, he found me one day, a raped and beaten eighteen-year-old laying in an alleyway, on the verge of death from loss of blood. He turned me in hope of saving the impossible beauty I possessed. And, not only did he save it, my appearance grew even more heavenly. My skin is as white as freshly fallen snow and sparkles similarly in direct sunlight. My alluring purple eyes practically ooze intensity. I am beauty reincarnated, a modern-day Venus, a lethal Aphrodite. No man can resist my lure. Whe_

_**December 14, 2006**_

_So sorry I had to cut my entry off yesterday, but Deidara decided that we would have supper early.__Irritating mutt.__Why Pain wants those __werewolves__ to stay with us is beyond me. All Deidara is good for is cooking, though he doesnt even eat with us. Other than that, he simply plays with his stupid clay. The only thing Hidan does is watch television and cuss.__Wait, that's incorrect.__He gets up sometimes, to annoy me -he knows I cant stand him- and bother Kakuzu. I've already put him through the wall twice. You'd think he would leave me alone by now. Kakuzu is tolerable, I suppose. He isnt very sociable, but he is adept at most mind games, such as chess, checkers, Scrabble... He even plays Itachi and I at poker. He's a good liar, but has the worst luck.  
__Sasori needs to go away. I dont want to help him clean his puppets right now! I told him to save me a few and I will do them later.__Great. He's staying.__GET OFF MY BED BEFORE I RIP YOUR HEAD OFF, RED.__He is now brushing my hair. I swear, Sasori, if you're reading this over my shoulder, I will personally make your life a living hell.  
__  
__Anyways. __Kisame is pretty nice, but he isnt a mongrel OR a vampire. Apparently, he's half-vampire, half-human. He has blue-ish skin, with very prominate veins. Zetsu has dark skin, which is unusual, but he's a full-blooded vampire. He is good with plants, and we share a garden, so I talk to him a lot. His coloring is actually the effects of him having an alter-personality when he was human. This got amplified when he turned, causing him to have two very distinct personalities, and his skin to switch from fair to a chocolate milkshake color.  
__  
Kisame is a good friend to me, and I find that he brings out the more playful side of me._

_On the contrary, he can also drive me insane with his teasing. He makes me feel flustered and embarrassed, like a teenager!_

_Speaking of acting like a teenager, Tobi just burst in here, jumping onto the bed and is now yapping to Sasori about something._

_Ew. Now my bed is going to smell like dog. Disgusting._

_Well, I have to go, journal. Sasori is putting my hair in a French braid, and I think I am going to prod Itachi into giving me a manicure._

_Men are so easy._

_**January 3, 2007**_

_WHOEVER HAS BEEN READING MY JOURNAL IS GOING TO BE CASTRATED, DIPPED IN A VAT OF OLIVE OIL, AND FED TO ZETSU._

_Unless this is Zetsu._

_In which case, YOU WILL BE BOILED IN A TUB OF SCALDING HOT KOOL-AID, THEN FED TO A HORSE._

**October 27, 2031**

HA! I found Konan's journal! Im so evil. Konan, you are SUCH a girl. The crap you write about is soooo..... GIRLY. You would think that being a sex goddess and over a hundred years old would help your attention span. I mean, you jump from (these are direct quotes!) "Kakuzu's stitches are kinda sexy..." to "Should I wear the purple lipstick or the black?" and then "We should have scrambled eggs for breakfast tomorrow" with barely three words in between! And, while I agree that I do have nice abs, my hair is NOT girlish. Long hair doesnt make me effeminate! SO, TAKE IT BACK. If you dont, i'll tell Kisame you think he has a nice butt!  
-DeiDei

_**October 28, 2031**_

_You are a GIRLY, FEMININE MUTT._

**October 29, 2031**

I have a nice butt?  
-Kisame

This journal is... interesting. (Thank you, though, Konan-hime. I did not know you thought of my "manhood" that way)  
-Itachi

_**October 30, 2031**_

_......... WHO GAVE YOU MY JOURNAL?_

**October 31, 2031**

Hidan. Answer the question.  
-Kisame

Hidan.  
-Itachi

Heh. Sorry. Deidara gave it to me and I had to pass it along.  
-Hidan

You really think my stitches are sexy?  
-Kakuzu

_**October 31, 2031**_

_Okay. YES, KISAME. Your welcome, Ita-kun. YOU CANT SEW YOUR MANHOOD BACK ON IF IT'S IN A BLENDER, HIDAN. And, yes, Kakuzu, I do. But, dont take my observations personally, everybody. They are all purely observations. No emotion involved. PREPARE TO FEEL MY WRATH, BLONDE MUTT._

**November 2, 2031**

..... she actually tried. While I was in the shower. I was washing my hair, then BAM! The door swung open. I managed to make it out of the bathroom before the butcher knife could do any damage.  
-Hidan

Wow. I'm blushing, Konan. That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. :)  
-Kisame

Also, I noticed you said you liked the smell of my hair. I can give you the brand of my shampoo, if you'd like. It's kind of expensive, but I find it makes my hair very soft and silky, plus shiny.  
-Itachi

Has anyone seen Deidara?  
-Kakuzu

He's in his room, crying. Apparently, he's not letting anyone see him until his hair grows back.  
-Sasori.

You are an evil girl, Konan. :D  
-Pain

_**November 4, 2031**_

_Sure, Ita-kun! I LET YOU OFF EASY, HIDAN. Do not cross me again or the knife wont miss the next time. And, Deidara learned how much fun sleeping pills and a pair of scissors can be._

**November 5, 2031**

You know what they say about pretty girls, Konan. They can beat on some drums and look gorgeous doing it, but when it comes down to it, all they're doing is making noise. So, BRING IT.  
-Hidan

**_November 6, 2031_**

_It's already been brought, Emo McGee!_

**November 7, 2031**

It is so on, Smurf. Meet me outside at sunset. No mercy.  
-Hidan

I'm taking bets, everybody.  
-Kakuzu

A hundred bucks on Hime. I'm bringing the popcorn!  
-Kisame

Sixty on Konan. I'll have the candy. Twizzlers, Tootsie Rolls, and Crunch bars.  
-Itachi

My friend -Dollar-Bill over here says Konan gets whupped.  
-DeiDei

One fifty on Konan. I'm announcer.  
-Pain

$200 that Konan doesnt show.  
-Zetsu

Ninety on Konan. I'll bring soda.  
-Sasori

Tobi bets ten dollars that Konan-chan wins! :)  
-TOBI!!!

**_November 8, 2031_**

_BET YOU DIDNT SEE THAT COMING! Muwahaha. Take that, mutt! THAT is what I think of your little challenge! Oh yeah. Go me, I rule, I rock, I am the fucking epitome of AWESOME SMEXINESS! Btw, good call, Zetsu._

**November 9, 2031**

I cant believe Zetsu won all that money.  
-Kisame

I am a freakin' psychic.  
-Zetsu

That was hilarious. Konan, you are a genius. Plus, I got 20% of the winnings!  
-Kakuzu

That was funny. I mean, we all walk outside, expecting to see Konan, but she doesnt show. Then, when we go looking for her, we see Hidan's door open, so we check in there. Everything is covered in tar and small dog treats, even his clothes and jewelry, with a single purple paper plane sitting in the middle of his bed. Then, on the inside of the plane, written in Konan's perfect cursive, "Some treats for the arrogant mutt. Dont eat them all in one bite."  
-Kisame

He is still trying to get the tar off.  
-Sasori

**_November 27, 2031_**

_I cant believe it. He's making us go back to school. SCHOOL. I have a perfect memory, so it's not the work i'm worried about. But, all those yummy-smelling human boys..._

_I hope Pain wont mind if I sneak a bite or two._

_Oh well. _

_Konohagakure High School, here we come._

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A/N: Sooooo, what did you think? The rest of the story will come later, but I felt that the journal part was most important. REVIEW, PLEASE!  
Also, for convenience, here's the list of Vampires:

Konan  
Pain  
Itachi  
Sasori  
Zetsu  
Kisame (Half)

Here are the werewolves:

Hidan  
Kakuzu  
Deidara  
Tobi


End file.
